Some girls have an obsession with shoes, I have an obsession with books. Much like an obsession with shoes, I don't really need to utilize the books (aka read), I just need to have them. I have this voracious appetite for new titles. If ever someone mentions a book, I want to be able to go home and start it. If I ever suggest a book, I want to be able to offer them a copy from my personal library. I want to run my fingers over the volumes of books and sigh with satisfaction. I have fantasies about being snowed in all winter (too bad they're phasing out winter) and having to read my all books over and over until they are worn and yellow. When I get sad or bored (which happens more when you're homeless) I go to thrift stores and peruse the shelves. Yesterday, I left with two novels and two cookbooks. I used to keep my books in the spare bedroom upstairs. I would often just go up there to be with my books. I'd reminisce about how much I enjoyed reading the old ones and the perfect scenarios to start the new ones. On pinterest my eye is always caught by libraries with sliding ladders and nooks with filled bookshelves. I'm what they call a bibliophile.
Do I need these books? Will I ever read them all? When is someone really going to ask me for a copy of Farewell, My Subaru or Only a Gringo Would Die for an Anteater? This is hard to say (really, I'm not kidding) but I don't really need them, I won't get to them all in my lifetime, and I won't put my money on any urgent requests for my titles. I curiously also love libraries. I should probably focus on my love for putting books on hold and forcing transfers from distant libraries to my own.
If I don't really need all my books what other things don't I need? My vast rubber stamp collection? Maybe my odd pleasure in knowing I have stamps of snails, trolls, squirrels, monsters, ostriches, centipedes, tarantulas, porcupines, and owls isn't worth the untold amount of money I have spent. Maybe. Then there is my kitchen. I have been told that I have the best stocked kitchen in the world in terms of equipment. Most of it is green. My green KitchenAid stand mixer is one of my most treasured possessions. I searched for the best price on my collapsible green salad spinner for weeks. I haven't used it since the first week of buying it. There is also the avocado slicer that tried to slice my hand... and the mandolin that actually did slice the tip of my pinkie finger off. I suppose I could give up a few of those things... but only if you told me they were going to good homes.
The idea of wanting things that aren't really needed is an epidemic. If you want to get real serious about it, consumerism is the basis of capitalism. We have been trained to be buying machines, to constantly crave the newest and shiniest gadgets. If you don't believe me then just go watch the television for a few minutes. I wish I was stronger against this force. I know I don't need these things, but something just takes over my body (lack of willpower maybe?) and forces me to fork over the cash.
A few dollars here and a few dollars there for a used book, a rubber stamp, or a green kitchen utensil probably isn't going to be the end of me. The real reason this is all bubbling up is because of the largest task at hand in my life currently: househunting. Every househunter starts out with a requirement list (HGTV is the handbook of my life). The plan is to just want those few core things: a nice yard, updated kitchen, and a bigger garage. Then you see the first house which has a teeny yard but a great kitchen. The next has a great yard, but a tiny garage. Soon you want to combine the first house's gourmet custom kitchen with the next house's 2 acre yard and the next house's 4 stall garage and the next house's jacuzzi tub and the next house's wet bar and the next house's sauna until your main requirements add up to a 1.4 million dollar house. Side note: I have actually been shown houses with all these things. How could I possibly just be happy with an average yard, kitchen and garage after all that? How did I go from trying to convince my husband to start a Tumbleweed home commune to "needing" granite countertops? Does everyone become a spoiled monster while looking for a home, or is that just me?
I keep thinking I am just going to walk into a house and know it is right. I asked my realtor if finding a house was like finding a wedding dress. He didn't really think it was like that (I don't think he really appreciates my random questions, but I think I will continue anyways, just to make him work for it). I think I will know though. It is really my only hope at this point. As long as I can keep my head on straight and remember that the absence of a kitchen appliance garage isn't a dealbreaker I think it will happen. With a semi load of my stuff and a few gallons of paint I'm sure I can make anything feel like home... well, as long as it has stainless steel appliances ;).
No comments:
Post a Comment