The Haters

Have you ever found yourself sucked into one of Joel Osteen's inspirational "messages" on late night television? If not, this is the time to open a new tab, and google him... maybe make sure you are alone first. He is a spirited, smiley Christian minister. I myself am not religious, and usually born-again types can scare me (i.e. If I blink too long I might end up in a mega-church with the doors locked and on a plank above a Baptismal pool, but that's my issue, not yours) yet I cannot deny that he is an amazingly captivating speaker and his topics can be universal. On this particular night he was talking about ignoring those who do not support you and choosing your battles. If people do not celebrate you, be nice, but move on and stay the course. I cannot argue with that and in fact, I love that!

I am often so worried about other people think. I'm probably even guilty of letting it drive some of the important decisions in my life. I no longer want to allow myself to do things just to please others or to impress others. I have to remember to keep true to myself. Sometimes I know I should just step out of the influence of others and listen to the voice inside of me. I know I have a lot of soul searching in front of me and probably a lot of mistakes but I can't let the fear of being judged by others stop me. I told my husband tonight that I want to try out for the television show The Voice. If you haven't seen it, you may just want to skip to the next paragraph because this is going to get specific. I have it all planned out in my head. I am going to sing The Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks and it is going to be show-stoppingly great. Then, all the judges are going to turn around and fight for me. I am going to wobble between Blake and Adam, but I am ultimately going to choose Blake because I think Adam and his tattoos will distract me too much. Of course my husband laughed because he has never heard me sing beyond a whisper tone unless I am doing a parody of Josh Groban or Mariah Carey or someone. And in all honestly, I'm probably not what the show is looking for, but maybe I should take on one of those crazy dreams in my head. Who cares if no one turns around their chair?! At least I tried.

Often the ones who judge you are the ones you are judging yourself. I can be distracted by others that rub me the wrong way instead of being inspired by those I admire. Another late night led me to making a list (with my trusty 50 pack of Crayola markers) of the traits of those not so favorite people along with those who make my heart hurt because I think they're so amazing. I found that I don't enjoy those who are two-faced, loud (bad loud, not good loud, you know what I mean) and selfish. Most of my favorite people are reflective, intelligent, confident, and caring. I can tend to waste a lot of time thinking about those not-so-favorites. For instance, do you ever find yourself in the shower reliving a moment from a month ago that still makes your blood boil and you're rehashing all the things you should have said (but really shouldn't have) and then realize you've been standing there waaay to long and the water is getting cold? I want to show them how they are wrong, force them to be the people I want them to be, but this is completely not my job. People are going to do what they want and I can only control myself (and thank goodness for that because the world should not be filled with multiple Betsys- there would be a real shortage of kitschy forest animal trinkets). I need to focus on aspiring to be more like those I do admire and avoiding being that two-faced, loud, selfish person I don't much admire. I can lead by example. Anger is energy I could be using towards more useful endeavors. At the end of the day, no matter what those haters say about me, offense is taken, not given. I choose whether or not I am going to let their issues affect me or let it just roll off my back (brush your shoulders off, right?). I can't let the negative energy control my life.

I might start small and finally wear those cute over-the-knee socks I have been scared to bust out before I move on to more daring goals like speaking up for myself amongst a tough crowd or trying something I might fail at, but I know I'll get there. I am the one stuck with me for the rest of my life, so I might as well focus on liking myself instead of trying so hard to make others like me.