My Jungle

Have you ever noticed something and then you start noticing that same thing everywhere you go? It's like a sign? Let me explain. I was driving the other day in Waterloo and there is a "highway" with about fifty stoplights on it. I kept getting stopped right next to this semi truck hauling livestock, despite my attempts to slow down, speed up, change lanes- just about anything to get away. I couldn't escape it and when we stopped at those fifty stoplights I saw piglets... adorable, peach-fuzzed, pink piglets. Then, the next day, in Dubuque, I had the same thing happen, this time it was some big-eyed, hairy cows. Then, three days later, again. See, I have this history with livestock trucks. When I was 12 years old my mother and I were driving across the Tower Drive bridge (in Green Bay) and we passed a similar truck. I looked over and there was this cow sticking his head out one of those little holes. He was letting the air whip across his face, just like a dog does when you open the car window. It was so cute and then it stuck me... this cow was on his way to Packerland Packing. It only had a few minutes left to see sunshine, feel that breeze, and just simply be alive. I never was the same. I stopped eating red meat that day. Soon I stopped eating chicken, and then fish. (Note: I believe that this choice, coupled with my lack of nutritional knowledge and love for only bean burritos has caused my ridiculously short legs). I relapsed into my carnivorous ways during college, because despite my feelings, I do love meat. A couple years ago I read this great book The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone, and decided to reinvest in my beliefs and become a vegan.

It is one thing to think you are going to be a vegan and it is a whole different thing to be a vegan. It requires a lot of sacrifice. After a week or two, you don't really mind not eating meat or dairy. Even despite everyone's cries, "Oh, but I could never give up cheese, oh I love cheese so much!" it isn't so bad. And it is a lot healthier. The real challenges set in after those initial couple weeks. After withstanding the never ending eye rolls from dining companions and heckling servers about the preparation of those steamed veggies, you realize, I want to eat something actually off the menu, that I wouldn't make at home. Vegan-friendly restaurants do exist, but it is hard to convince the average person that in fact, Thai and Indian food is good and isn't going to make them smell funny.  The other real sacrifices are time and money. Almost every meal needs to be prepared from scratch, using ingredients that usually cost considerably more than conventional ones. You can be that hippie who soaks their own beans, cooks their own seitan and avoids mock meats, but even being a housewife, I find that difficult. I love to cook, but there are those nights you just don't want to cook this gourmet meal. (To be clear though, I think all of these sacrifices are worth the cost in the long run.)

So you cheat now and then. I let myself eat eggs that come from a local farm, where I can actually see the chickens. I buy bison burgers from a lady at farmers market from the next town over. I occasionally make the perch that my husband's grandfather catches for us. I actually order something off the menu at restaurants. It starts off innocently enough and then you realize, wow, I've been eating an animal product every day this week. Maybe I did sneak a little cheese while chowing down on green enchiladas in Santa Fe, add a little real milk to the mashed potatoes, eat that slightly burnt bratwurst that summer day. Even though it was a choice I made to avoid animal products, I still feel like I did something wrong when I let down my vegan guard.

I think what disappoints me the most is I am not a good example of a vegan. Just the other day a friend tried to bait me into a debate on the harm in eating dairy products- I didn't even try to explain myself. I try to be approachable to others and don't tell the whole story. I tell people I am a vegan for health choices, but that is only part of the story. It does make you feel light, energetic and free, but it's also great for the environment and for the animals. I don't think it is right to stuff a cow full of corn, which isn't meant to digest, and then violently slaughter the animal at poorly run facilities. Same goes for pigs, or hogs as we call them in Iowa. I don't think it is right to squish chickens in a crate way too small for them and cut off part of their beaks to make them egg-laying machines. I don't think it is right to take a calf away from it's mother to feed it powdered chemicals, just so humans can drink that milk meant for them. I truly don't think it is worth the amount of money saved to buy factory farmed meat instead of local, grass-fed meat. I think if we were forced to see the truth and really think about it, more people would feel this way. Maybe if I fought harder for my values and didn't shirk away from tough conversations I could be a better model to those around me and it would make a difference. I won't be discouraged by the fear of being seen as a frenzied, PETA card carrying lunatic, because maybe I am just like one of those people. I definitely don't always agree with my friends and family on issues, so I can be free to do the same. It is okay to not go with the flow if it means I am standing strong on what I believe.

Maybe this is a new years resolution that came one month late, but I am going to try harder. I want to be the change that I want to see in the world. I won't be perfect, but at least I will be striving for a goal. I hope the next time one of those trucks passes me by I'll know I tried my hardest to keep those animals out in the breezy sunshine.